October 2, 2025, 10:30 AM:
IT'S MY BOYFRIEND'S BIRTHDAY~! EVERYONE PSYCHICALLY SEND HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISHES TO JEREMY~! HE'S UNC NOW!!!!
October 5, 2025, 7:17 PM:
I went to Goodwill today, just to get some driving hours and maybe see if I could find something I liked. I surprisingly, actually found quite a few things I liked, such as a muu-muu that I will probably adopt until I'm 80 and a dress jacket cover-up thing that looked more like lingerie than anything else. There was also an aisle with nothing but ceramic angels and nativity scenes that I sat in for a while just because of how pretty it was.
It felt nice to go outside. I couldn't get my heart to stop beating, and I couldn't find anything less boring to do, so I went out. It's 300x better than starting arguments online.
END TIME: 7:22 PM
October 13, 2025, 4:30 PM:
Been a while. I haven't felt like doing anything.
Had a fight with my boyfriend, but we got over it pretty easily. The same night, I made the mistake of getting high with a man, who tried to get me to cheat with him and refused to leave my bed, and I was absolutely fucking terrified that I was going to get raped and I think something in my brain chemistry has changed now. I don't trust anyone. I only trust my boyfriend, and my best friend, and that is it. It feels like every other person I meet has it out for me and desperately wants to manipulate me.
There is more that I cannot bring myself to spew out.
For a while afterward, I cried and pretty much reverted to the mind of a 9-year-old and watched cartoons. I was scared to be alone with him.
END TIME: 4:36 PM